Jet Lagged!

I have been home from Europe for 5 days now and I am guessing I have a few more days to deal with jet lag.  I forget how crazy it can be.  We went to Israel in 2012. I had to go back to school the next day and was so tired when I got back home that evening that I slept well and got back on a schedulethat day.  This isn't the case.  I am off for a few more days and I don't have anything to do before 10am so...I am still adjusting.  I am enjoying these last few days of summer and I am so thankful I have them.  The house is clean, laundry is done and some meals are ready to be prepared.  School is coming so ready or not, here I come! 

I restarted this blog because I wanted to be able to chronicle the things I am learning as I am in this period of waiting.  I am learning.  I am not sure how to share it though, a lot of it is between me and the Lord. I pray that as I post, my attitude becomes one of grace and mercy.That I give all of the glory to HIM and HIM alone.  I have learned not to suppose and that His ways are way higher than mine.  I have no idea what God is doing just that He is working.  I get to see what He is doing and then make decisions about my life based on what I see Him doing.  For instance, I know that my school is my mission field. Not just my ministry with my kids but with the ladies I work with.  I can choose to gripe, complain or whine. Or... I can be that positive person in the room.  I can "work heartily, as for the Lord, and not for men." Colossians 3:23  I am a people pleaser and that, more often than not, has failed me.  I am going into a  new year of reflection.  I have been out of college for 20 years.  I am not where I thought I'd be but oh am I in a good place.  God has a plan, I don't know His plan but I can follow Him.  That is where my faith steps in. However, the faith that I have doesn't come from me, even that faith is from God.  I am waiting and praying for the right child at the right time.  I am expectanly awaiting his or her or their arrival.  I will wait, I will trust, I will stand firm, I will pray.

His mercies are new every morning and His grace is sufficient for me.

Update:

First update is about my Uncle Keith and Brad. The "wedding" was moved up several months to this month so my dilemma of not going to his wedding wasn't even an issue. I get to watch his doggy Ruby for the 2 weeks they are gone and will probably see pictures when they get back. Glad that I am not even going to have to make the decision about attending or lying about the reason I'm not going. He seemed happy so I just made sure I told them I loved them. Please pray for opportunities for me to show him the love of Jesus and how He is the only one that can satisfy us.
2nd update: I have been asked to help lead kids worship at church for about a month. I have been on praise teams before and I love serving in that area but now, because of different circumstances going on, I have been asked to help in that area as well. So, today was my 1st day and I had so much fun. I am still a bit nervous about singing in front of kids and adults but it is all for the Lord. I spent a lot of time preparing, praying and practicing but now that I know what it really involves I have to do so much more. God is so good and now He has shown me yet again how I need to depend on Him.
Update #3 I have been sick since July and after 2 months I finally feel so much better. I have had stomach issues and I firmly believe that God is my healer. I am so thankful for His healing touch. He is my Jehovah Rapha.

So, I guess this post is about How Great my God is. I love how the more I know about Him the more he shows me of himself. HOW GREAT IS MY GOD!!!!

GBITG! (Get back in the game)

It is August 3rd and this is my last week of blissful rest. As of Monday I will be "getting back in the game." The game is changing this year and I pray I am ready. I have had a lot of change in the past years and this one is no different. I am ready though because I have spent time with the Father. He has shown me that He is Sovereign, He is my sufficiency and He is my Master.
Here is what I learned during the "time out" of summer:
I began this summer teaching summer school and I had to figure out new ways to reach the kids. I had a class of 10 some of which were bilingual, and most of which were Special Ed and then there were the few that were both. I learned to make sure all of them had their individual needs met as well as what to look for in my own children in class this year. They each deserve the same chance and I can be their advocate in anyway I can. I also learned that I am to be there for my co-workers. Many of the teachers that I came into contact with were LOST. They did not desire the Lord nor did they realize their need for Him. One day as clear as a bell I heard The Father say. "You are to be in the classroom until I remove you. Here is mission field." I love it when He speaks to me clearly like that.
I also learned that He is not only the Sovereign God, He is my sufficiency. You would have thought I would have learned that based on the name of my blog but ohh how God uses others things to teach me more about Him. I went to the Canary Islands again and I love that place. It could be because of the kids, or the people I traveled with or the beauty of the island. No matter what God uses that place to speak to me. Hence the reason I know Him as my El Shaddai (my sufficiency). I have come to a place that I know He is enough and His grace is enough. I still desire to be married and have children but only when He chooses that for me.
Before I left for the Canary Islands I got very sick. I wasn't able to keep anything down and actually thought my appendix was rupturing. There was another instance where God made me rely on Him. After visiting the doctor and lots of medicine later. I was cleared to go on the trip and because of that last effort of the enemy to thwart God's plans, I knew I was to listen to what God had for me. All of that to say I am ready to get back in the game!!! I am ready to learn what God has for me and to be a blessing to others because I have been blessed.
I will probably write more because I am again on a journey. This time i desire to be more purposeful and intentional. I am excited to see what God will do.

A New Venture

In the last month 5 men that I have "dated" in the past have resurfaced.
FIVE! 5!
WHAT THE HELL???? sorry ;-( Anyway, I keep wondering if my ex-husband will show up too the way things had been going. Oh wait, he did. He showed up as my friends match on Match.com. She wasn't sure if that was him or not so she sent me his profile... YEP! She opted to not contact him but we did debate all (about 300 of us) going to meet him in a dark alley...but decided he wasn't worth going to jail for. Kidding we were not going to do anything like that. "'Vengeance is MINE' saith the LORD, 'I will repay'"
"Serenity NOW!", I say!

Next, I finally had to tell one ex-boyfriend that there "isn't now, nor will there be anything between us. I am just not that into you."
A New Venture:
Red Flag #1
So, for years I have been against online dating. I thought if you connect or reconnect with someone through Facebook then OK but, online? My reason...that is me seeking a man not him being the initiator. But after speaking to a friend she said that "God can use the internet, he doesn't need people either but chooses to use them too." So, one lonely Friday night I joined an online dating service. I had heard about this site through someone that actually had just celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary after meeting online so I was hopeful.

Day one: I fill out the questionnaire and post some pictures. I was very detailed in what I am looking for in a mate so I was very pleased in the responses I got within a few hours. Wouldn't you know it, there are some very good looking people out there, who, like me, are alone and are looking. We all have good intentions and well, we just want to find the right person. I get a few "flirts" and a couple of messages. I am excited because finally...God does use the internet. Hallelujah! or (Alleluia!)???

Day 2: I get even more "profile views" and there are even some people that have never been married or people that are widowed. Some with kids, some with out. How cool if I could find someone that has kids and the mom had passed away. I could be that mom that took the kids under my wing, had some of our own and could be the kind of mom I had and step mom I have. Wow. So excited that God is using the internet.

Day 3: Umm, a guy has shown interest a few times (red flag?) and I think he is kinda cute. I read his profile and seems to know the Lord and he actually sends me a message with his email address because he actually doesn't get on the site too much. He even has a picture with his son. What a cutie.

Day 5: Things are going well. He and I email and I am still using my alias and a brand new email address. Specifically for this dating site. I don't want people to know the real address yet. Then I can cancel it anytime and be OK. This guys misses his wife of 10 years and is living with his mom and 2 kids b/c he is a Vet and they aren't old enough to be in school all day. Now, mind you, any man that is 40+ and lives with his mom....RED FLAG!!!!!!!

Day 6: We still email everyday and he just "happens" to be out of the country (England) for his mom's surgery and wants to chat. No Facebook or MySpace page though. Hmmm...and no response to the FB or MS page question ( do you have one?). I don't feel too comfortable but I do give him my number. I think "Well, he may be new to social networking so I'll let it pass." RED FLAG!!!! Last question that was in an email was...So tell me about your friends. NO ANSWER. but I did get a call after midnight last night. Ummm I DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE AFTER 10:00 PM. much less midnight from an unknown number. but since I am anxious to hear his voice but ticked it is so late, I listen to the voicemail. RED FLAG!!!!! What kind of accent is that??? Where are you from and what do you do???? Huh, did you say you miss me? Did you somewhat sound like a serial killer? It takes a while...6 days to be exact but I know a RED FLAG WHEN I SEE IT!!!!!!

Moral of the story: God will bring my future mate to my front door if He chooses. He doesn't need the internet. Why? Because HE IS GOD!!!

I think I'll just hang out at church. Surely everyone there is normal.

January 15th

I have seen my provider, Jehovah Jireh, work in my life this week. I have also seen God's hand in the midst of devastation in Haiti. "...May I trust in your unfailing love." Psalm 13:5

BTS

If you know Heather and I we love to give everything initials. For instance, the Cheesecake Factory is CCF, our dogs are D and S, our parents were M&D, HTH was something we called each other in college thanks to our friend Kristi and so on. Well BTS is Back to School and I am not RTG ( ready to go). I love summer and this has been a great one. Probably the best one I have had in about 4 years!!! Oh well PTL for a job where I can take JJ&A (June, July and August, okay, not the entire 3 months but you get the point) off for myself.

The Reason

I was reminded today during our sermon this evening at church the reason my blog is called
"All Sufficient (can never spell that without help) Grace." January 13, 2008 I was visiting a Sunday school class for the 1st time in years. God led me there to teach me a lesson.
Cindy, the Sunday school teacher/ life group leader, was in the book of Corinthians for the lesson. Then she read these verses in II Corinthians 12. "7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. "
God moved my heart. I had no idea what was to take place in the next 6 months of my life but GOD did. He knew that I would need to find Him in everything I did. That I would need grace to make it each day. That He would not remove the "thorn" in my flesh. He knew that he would use my life for His glory even though I have no idea how. Therefore the blog was named ALL SUFFICIENT GRACE.
I underlined that verse in my bible and wrote the date because it so moved my heart and now a year and half later I saw that verse again. I have seen that verse since then but, today, I saw that verse. (insert Beth Moore emphasis and accent). I have come so far from where I was and yet I am so far from where I need to be. His Grace has been and continues to be sufficient. His GRACE amazes me. His GRACE is enough for me. He is THE reason I get up every day and sleep through the night. MY ALL SUFFICIENT GRACE!!!

My 100 Things "Bucket List"

I've seen this on some blogs and thought I'd make my own list as well! Everything in BOLD are things I've done. Feel free to copy this list to your blog and do the same.

1. Started your own blog.
2. Slept under the stars.
3. Played in a band.
4. Visited Hawaii.
5. Watched a meteor shower.
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to Disneyland.
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis.
10. Sang a solo.
11. Bungee jumped.
12. Visited Paris.
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
15. Adopted a child.
16. Had food poisoning.
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
18. Grown your own vegetables.
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train.
21. Had a pillow fight.
22. Hitch hiked.
23. Taken a sick day when you're not sick.
24. Built a snow fort.
25. Held a lamb.
26. Gone skinny dipping.
27. Run a marathon.
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.
29. Seen a total eclipse.
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
31. Hit a home run.
32. Been on a cruise.
33. Seen Niagra Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.
35. Seen an Amish community.
36. Taught yourself a new language.
37. Had enough money to truly be satisfied.
38. Seen the leaning tower of Pisa in person.
39. Gone rock climbing.
40. Seen Michelangelo's David.
41. Sung karaoke.
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
44. Visited Africa.
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted.
48. Gone deep sea fishing.
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling.
52. Kissed in the rain.
53. Played in the mud.
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business.
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served in a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies.
62. Gone whale watching.
63. Gotten flowers for no reason.
64. Donated blood, platelets, or plasma.
65. Gone sky diving.
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp.
67. Bounced a check.
68. Flown in a helicopter.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt.
73. Stood in Times Square.
74. Toured the Everglades.
75. Been fired from a job.
76. Seen the changing of the guards in London.
77. Broken a bone.
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.
80. Published a book.
81. Been to the Vatican.
82. Bought a brand new car.
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the paper.
85. Read the entire Bible.
86. Visited the White House.
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
88. Had Chicken pox.
89. Saved someone's life.
90. Sat on a jury.
91. Met someone famous.
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one.
94. Had a baby.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee.
100. Read an entire book in one day.

Some of these I actually plan to do, some I have no interest in. Since I borrowed this from a good friend (Thanks Carole!) I may post my own list and post it closer to my 3???th birthday. :-)

Chef Jen

Sometimes I get an idea and I like to try it. This week was the week for cooking. I am in my 2nd, 3rd week of weight watchers. I have lost 7.8 lbs so far so I am very encouraged that means that when I eat this will not just be to loose weight but to make it a change in lifestyle. I do not usually compare myself to people on TV but there was the cutest lady on a commercial the other day and I thought...hmm I used to be that thin. Now, mind you I was also training for the marathon then but whatev... Anyway, so this week I made stir fry chicken. I just ate that with some greens and was surprisingly satisfied. I am trying some Garlic Lime Chicken tonight. I am very excited cause I love those flavors together. I will keep you posted on how it goes.
I am almost ready to share my story in all of it's glory but the thought of it wears me out so I will wait a while longer. I am so thankful for the people that just prayed for me. I am ready for a summer to relax and a spring break to not worry. God is so good.