Creative Expression

Last week my friend and music pastor challenged us to express how we feel about the Lord. I do not write songs or paint or anything really but I do have a story to tell about the One who saved me and redeemed me. I have been through some challenging times within the last five years and God has shown me that He is all I need. Thus the reason for the title of this blog. I have recently been studying the names of God and I have seen how he has made Himself known to me in so many ways. He has been my provider; Jehovah Jireh, He has been my healer; Jehovah Rapha, he has seen my problems as El Roi; he has been my sufficiency; my El Shaddai. One of the names of God that has stuck out the most to me is the Lord my Shepherd; Jehovah-Raah. As one of His sheep I must be totally dependent on Him. He gives me peace, rest, protection and love. And I love the fact that He is all of that to me and more. Thanks for asking us to reflect on Who God is to us. There is so much more to tell and I can't wait to share.

Update:

First update is about my Uncle Keith and Brad. The "wedding" was moved up several months to this month so my dilemma of not going to his wedding wasn't even an issue. I get to watch his doggy Ruby for the 2 weeks they are gone and will probably see pictures when they get back. Glad that I am not even going to have to make the decision about attending or lying about the reason I'm not going. He seemed happy so I just made sure I told them I loved them. Please pray for opportunities for me to show him the love of Jesus and how He is the only one that can satisfy us.
2nd update: I have been asked to help lead kids worship at church for about a month. I have been on praise teams before and I love serving in that area but now, because of different circumstances going on, I have been asked to help in that area as well. So, today was my 1st day and I had so much fun. I am still a bit nervous about singing in front of kids and adults but it is all for the Lord. I spent a lot of time preparing, praying and practicing but now that I know what it really involves I have to do so much more. God is so good and now He has shown me yet again how I need to depend on Him.
Update #3 I have been sick since July and after 2 months I finally feel so much better. I have had stomach issues and I firmly believe that God is my healer. I am so thankful for His healing touch. He is my Jehovah Rapha.

So, I guess this post is about How Great my God is. I love how the more I know about Him the more he shows me of himself. HOW GREAT IS MY GOD!!!!

Closed Doors and Open Windows

I am a bit hard headed and God usually has to take drastic measures to get things through my head. Some doors have been closed today but some windows have opened. I had been praying for clarity and now I have it. Again! I love how God does things. I am blessed and I know it. God is amazing and what I am doing now is waiting for him to show me even more. I am an open book and God is writing my story. It feels good to let go of some things that I thought, I thought was what I wanted but God knows what I need and how dare I not take that. Anyway, another lesson learned and this time no money was spent. ;-) Thanks God.

I Love OBU!

First of all God is so good to have allowed me to go to such an amazing university. I graduated from OBU in 1994 and because of my time there and the friends I made while there, I have been changed. I am not who I was because of OBU. It was because of people there that I am the teacher, leader, Christian and friend that I am today. High school was very hard for me because I was an introvert. I loved to talk but only when I was comfortable with the people once I got to know them. Then, I went to OBU. I was one of 200 freshmen, not one of 1000. I felt like I had a voice and I wasn't just a number.

You know, people say that the college years are the best years of your life. I agree and I am so glad that my experience was at OBU. As a freshman in Perrin West, not knowing anyone, I quickly made friends with Buffy Meador, April Works, Kaye Boone and Kristi Jackson. Life as I knew it would never be the same. We laughed, we cried, we watched Designing Women, and ate enough pizza to kill us. I remember running down the hall in Frances Crawford West 2 saying "is that my phone?" as we set our land lines outside our door because we had a super long cord. I had my 1st real boyfriend, and my first real heart break there. Then came my time as a Tri Chi. (I still use my XXX key-chain that I got while pledging as my mail key key-chain.) Such great memories. I love my university and I love the people that I met there. It is funny that we are not the Auburn, A&M, UT or even Razorbacks but because of OBU we have something in common. As a member of XXX (Tri-Chi) I learned what it meant to have a family away from my family. I met Angie Dodd, Nicol Bodenstein, Sara Fish, Michele Woodall, Sarah Smith, Lori Abbot, Chrissy Holmes, Amy Ables, Leigh Anne McKinney, Chariny Herring, and at least 30 other women each year. I was blessed but little did I know that these friendships that I made there at OBU would be the ones that would get me through some of my darkest days after life at OBU. Yes, God is good. I loved OBU and wouldn't change my experience for the world. I pray for OBU and the members of the Faculty, Staff and Student Body especially XXX! (Tri-Chi). I will always have a special place in my heart for the people of OBU in ARKADELPHIA, ARKANSAS!!

God is not mysterious!

He has made know to us the mystery of His will. He said that if we follow Him, He will guide our paths. He is not a mystery. He is found if we seek Him. If we delight in Him, He will give us the desire of our hearts. He also says His ways are our ways. Of course they are not, He is GOD. I have been able to enjoy a lot of free time lately because God has allowed it. I am to use it though to spend time with Him. If I allow my time to be idle then the enemy is going to get a hold of my head and my thoughts and destroy me. I do not want that to happen. God's word says to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. I am going to do so. I also wonder if I should take a Facebook break again too. I think there is one in my future. I usually have a ton of stuff going through my head and today I decided to hash some things out on here. So, sorry if this is a weird post. It's my blog I can do what I want. :-) Anyway, I feel a little better now. I am going to read a real book today and then reflect on God's word. What a novel idea. Happy Labor Day, is that appropriate to say? Oh well, enjoy the 3 day weekend.

SITG (Still in the Game) just a different game!!

Sooo. God has closed some doors and allowed me to have some time to rest. By rest I mean that I am only busy Monday, Tuesday and Wednesdays now. I can take time to exercise and spend time with the Lord. Oh yeah and work on my job. I was hoping to begin grad school online at Liberty this week and thus begin my M.A.R. (Master's of Arts in Religion). However, some doors have closed and I am going another direction. Here's the kicker, I am not sure what I am to do next. I am going to do my job heartily as for the Lord and take care of myself. I am not sure what is on the horizon but, God is.
Pray for me because I get anxious when things change for "no reason." But I also know that "God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power and love and sound judgment." 2 Timothy 1:7
"He is in control and I am not, and if I am in control, He is not." Scott P.

Stay Tuned...

GBITG! (Get back in the game)

It is August 3rd and this is my last week of blissful rest. As of Monday I will be "getting back in the game." The game is changing this year and I pray I am ready. I have had a lot of change in the past years and this one is no different. I am ready though because I have spent time with the Father. He has shown me that He is Sovereign, He is my sufficiency and He is my Master.
Here is what I learned during the "time out" of summer:
I began this summer teaching summer school and I had to figure out new ways to reach the kids. I had a class of 10 some of which were bilingual, and most of which were Special Ed and then there were the few that were both. I learned to make sure all of them had their individual needs met as well as what to look for in my own children in class this year. They each deserve the same chance and I can be their advocate in anyway I can. I also learned that I am to be there for my co-workers. Many of the teachers that I came into contact with were LOST. They did not desire the Lord nor did they realize their need for Him. One day as clear as a bell I heard The Father say. "You are to be in the classroom until I remove you. Here is mission field." I love it when He speaks to me clearly like that.
I also learned that He is not only the Sovereign God, He is my sufficiency. You would have thought I would have learned that based on the name of my blog but ohh how God uses others things to teach me more about Him. I went to the Canary Islands again and I love that place. It could be because of the kids, or the people I traveled with or the beauty of the island. No matter what God uses that place to speak to me. Hence the reason I know Him as my El Shaddai (my sufficiency). I have come to a place that I know He is enough and His grace is enough. I still desire to be married and have children but only when He chooses that for me.
Before I left for the Canary Islands I got very sick. I wasn't able to keep anything down and actually thought my appendix was rupturing. There was another instance where God made me rely on Him. After visiting the doctor and lots of medicine later. I was cleared to go on the trip and because of that last effort of the enemy to thwart God's plans, I knew I was to listen to what God had for me. All of that to say I am ready to get back in the game!!! I am ready to learn what God has for me and to be a blessing to others because I have been blessed.
I will probably write more because I am again on a journey. This time i desire to be more purposeful and intentional. I am excited to see what God will do.

Countdown to the Canary Islands

I am leaving for a mission trip Friday and I am so excited. Of course with all of the excitement comes a ton of preparation. Also, not lacking this year...an attack from the enemy. We have 6 people going and we have all had our "things." One huge one is a lady that none of us had met is dealing with The BP oil spill. She is finally headed home tomorrow. We will get to meet her and then head out on Friday a few other things have happened I won't mention but just please if you read this pray for our trip. When Satan tries to attack we know he is worried. GOD is in control and WE have the Victory.

A New Venture

In the last month 5 men that I have "dated" in the past have resurfaced.
FIVE! 5!
WHAT THE HELL???? sorry ;-( Anyway, I keep wondering if my ex-husband will show up too the way things had been going. Oh wait, he did. He showed up as my friends match on Match.com. She wasn't sure if that was him or not so she sent me his profile... YEP! She opted to not contact him but we did debate all (about 300 of us) going to meet him in a dark alley...but decided he wasn't worth going to jail for. Kidding we were not going to do anything like that. "'Vengeance is MINE' saith the LORD, 'I will repay'"
"Serenity NOW!", I say!

Next, I finally had to tell one ex-boyfriend that there "isn't now, nor will there be anything between us. I am just not that into you."
A New Venture:
Red Flag #1
So, for years I have been against online dating. I thought if you connect or reconnect with someone through Facebook then OK but, online? My reason...that is me seeking a man not him being the initiator. But after speaking to a friend she said that "God can use the internet, he doesn't need people either but chooses to use them too." So, one lonely Friday night I joined an online dating service. I had heard about this site through someone that actually had just celebrated their 3rd wedding anniversary after meeting online so I was hopeful.

Day one: I fill out the questionnaire and post some pictures. I was very detailed in what I am looking for in a mate so I was very pleased in the responses I got within a few hours. Wouldn't you know it, there are some very good looking people out there, who, like me, are alone and are looking. We all have good intentions and well, we just want to find the right person. I get a few "flirts" and a couple of messages. I am excited because finally...God does use the internet. Hallelujah! or (Alleluia!)???

Day 2: I get even more "profile views" and there are even some people that have never been married or people that are widowed. Some with kids, some with out. How cool if I could find someone that has kids and the mom had passed away. I could be that mom that took the kids under my wing, had some of our own and could be the kind of mom I had and step mom I have. Wow. So excited that God is using the internet.

Day 3: Umm, a guy has shown interest a few times (red flag?) and I think he is kinda cute. I read his profile and seems to know the Lord and he actually sends me a message with his email address because he actually doesn't get on the site too much. He even has a picture with his son. What a cutie.

Day 5: Things are going well. He and I email and I am still using my alias and a brand new email address. Specifically for this dating site. I don't want people to know the real address yet. Then I can cancel it anytime and be OK. This guys misses his wife of 10 years and is living with his mom and 2 kids b/c he is a Vet and they aren't old enough to be in school all day. Now, mind you, any man that is 40+ and lives with his mom....RED FLAG!!!!!!!

Day 6: We still email everyday and he just "happens" to be out of the country (England) for his mom's surgery and wants to chat. No Facebook or MySpace page though. Hmmm...and no response to the FB or MS page question ( do you have one?). I don't feel too comfortable but I do give him my number. I think "Well, he may be new to social networking so I'll let it pass." RED FLAG!!!! Last question that was in an email was...So tell me about your friends. NO ANSWER. but I did get a call after midnight last night. Ummm I DO NOT ANSWER THE PHONE AFTER 10:00 PM. much less midnight from an unknown number. but since I am anxious to hear his voice but ticked it is so late, I listen to the voicemail. RED FLAG!!!!! What kind of accent is that??? Where are you from and what do you do???? Huh, did you say you miss me? Did you somewhat sound like a serial killer? It takes a while...6 days to be exact but I know a RED FLAG WHEN I SEE IT!!!!!!

Moral of the story: God will bring my future mate to my front door if He chooses. He doesn't need the internet. Why? Because HE IS GOD!!!

I think I'll just hang out at church. Surely everyone there is normal.

Reunion and Pot Roast

I have decided not to go to my 20 year HS reunion. I have mixed feeling about not going but they outweigh spending $42.00 or $60.00 at the door.
I had fun in HS but since I am not the shy reserved person I used to be I would know about 20 people and, thanks to FB I have already gotten in touch with them. I know I sound super cynical lately but sometimes you just feel that way.

I made a pot roast tonight and it is soo great! I do not remember all I put in it but I am dang proud of myself. My momma had a knack for putting things together and not having a recipe or so it seemed and I kinda have it too. Hallelujah for small things.

Day 3 of Summer

I HATE living alone. But God and I have some stuff to work on for sure. Oh well I will be ok. I hate CHANGE!!! Hate it.. But God is in control.

On a different note my dog is crazy. She has asked to go out 5 times in the last hour and all she does is "preach" to the neighbors. Poor girl.
I am not too happy but maybe this is what I needed. Time alone. Time with my Lord. Time to grow and do what I am supposed to.


More Later.

April 24th

Today is a wonderful relaxing Saturday. I have have a ton to do but...I'll see what actually gets done.

I am beginning to feel the need for the end of the school year and welcome it's haste.

Two weeks ago my dad's wife Doris was diagnosed with breast cancer, yesterday she had surgery and is on her way home today. So that is a good thing. Last night and the rest of this weekend I get to hang out with her sons. All 3 of them. They are great. It is like they are long lost relatives but the fact that they are my step-brothers is kinda neat. We are all the same ages too I think we like having brothers like they like having sisters, it is a neat instant bond that is here because we all lost a parent and we all have a step parent.

That is all for...I am again out of words. AHHH SATURDAYS!

So...Liberty

I have been unofficially accepted to Liberty University in Virginia. I am going to get my M.A.R. (Master's in Religion) Seminary is something that I have been thinking about as early as 1998. So NOW, 12 years later, it is finally becoming a reality. I am excited and even better I have a peace about this. I had a desire to go to University of Texas at Arlington for my Master's in Education however, when you don't feel a peace about things you shouldn't go ahead and do it just cause. ( I learned this the hard way.) I am excited about this new venture and will need lots of encouragement and prayer.

The other day someone (my sis) made a comment that really made me think. She said she thought I was a "Church Junkie." If you know this sister you know that she chooses her words carefully so as to make the recipient think. This was no different. Prior to this conversation I had decided that I would go to our Saturday and Sunday Easter services. Saturday so I could relax, and participate as a member in the congregation and Sunday b/c I was singing in the choir and would help lead in the worship music. So as it turned out I am a "church junkie" and I wouldn't have it any other way. That is where my friends are, my faith grows and I can corporately worship the Father. The church, my church, is a place where people/I can go to get fed. It is by no means perfect and neither am I but for me it beats bars, clubs and, I can't believe I am about to say this but, shopping. It honestly makes me sad that others don't have a place of refuge.

Next decision: Bible study I feel like I need to do another study. Not for them but for me. I don't know what though so I will be praying about that as well. We just finished Sweeter than Chocolate a Study on the 119th Psalm and I needed to be reminded of how I can dwell on God's word and He will guide me in all I do. There is still so much that I need to learn. Oy.

Lastly Voy a las Islas Canarias otra vez.
Ore para mi..
:-)
Adios

No title yet

I am so tired. I know that I am not near as tired as some moms but wow, my Zyrtec is kicking my tail in addition to my 3 nights in bed after 12:00. I love Jimmy Fallon though. :-)

We finished our Psalm 119 Study today. It was so good in fact "Sweeter Than Chocolate". We learned about so many truths in God's word. I was so proud of how much all of the ladies had learned but most of all I cannot wait to see how they are applying the knowledge of the truths that we learned. I didn't realize how many of the verses I had learned over the years were from Psalm 119. Psalm 119:103 How sweet are your words to my taste; they are sweeter than honey.

119:105 Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light for my path.

If you haven't studied that chapter, do it, it will change your life.

Well my words are almost finished for today. I do have some funny stories about my students so I will share a few tomorrow.

Really?

Sometimes people baffle me. I was just at the grocery store and there seemed to be a million people in line. No one seemed to be in a hurry so I pull out my phone and read, play, wait. No one is in a hurry except the ladies behind me who have a lot to say about everything. From Tiger to Healthcare and everything in between. Then they mention out loud that they hope the lines go fast. Well, when you go to Kroger at 9:00 at night it doesn't go fast. Today I am thankful for the patience I have because of my first graders and even more thankful for my iPhone.

God is good and Does GOOD

I was talking to a friend yesterday and we were saying how we always have something to say when things are going bad and we pray more when they are too. I haven't written here in while because I haven't had anything to say. The truth is I have a ton to say and I can be "preachy" if I want because this space is mine.
"I'm in LOVE, I'm in LOVE and I don't care who knows it." I have somehow forgotten to tell of all of the GOOD that is happening. God has answered so many prayers and comforted me in so many ways that I am ashamed that I haven't written about it. Not for anyone but myself as a memorial of what HE has done. In Joshua, God had the Israelites mark, make a memorial in the place where they crossed the Jordan both in the river and on it's banks. He said it is so they could tell their children and their children's children the great and marvelous things He had done. So I will write about God's ALL SUFFICIENT GRACE here in this place as my memorial to Him and the things he has done.
But first, since this is my spring break, I'm gonna take a nap. My late night at the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo wore me out.

10 days

Okay, So...Yeah, All I have is that Spring Break is in 10 school days.

NOT GONNA WORRY...

I stand in awe of who He is. I am excited about the future and nervous about it at the same time. If I trust Him like I know I should then I won't worry. Ok, I am not gonna worry. ok? Right? God will provide. He has provided. He created the WORLD. I do not need to worry or try to fix things. So, I guess I will just pray and rest in Him. His grace is sufficient. He is enough. He goes before me. HE loves me. Phew, I can rest.

On Time God

This has been a rough week and I haven't had a week this rough in some time emotions, finances and sad news, hurting friends and a few other things have hit me all at once but I know God is in control and will take care of things in order for Him to get the glory. I'm not gonna lie, this has been very stressful and I am ready for things to be finished but God has given me glimmers of hope. He is able. I rest in His promises. I know He will take care of these things.

On a different note I have been called to a "fast" from TV during the week. I was very productive this week and God and I are going to do this for a few weeks. I have a lot to learn from Him. I can't wait to share what He is teaching me.

My heart hurts for Haiti. I will spend time again this week praying for them.

January 15th

I have seen my provider, Jehovah Jireh, work in my life this week. I have also seen God's hand in the midst of devastation in Haiti. "...May I trust in your unfailing love." Psalm 13:5